Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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