I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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