I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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