Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
