I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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