guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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