Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Every concussion has its silver lining
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
