Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
