Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
