dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize