This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
