hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
