So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
