We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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