yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I lost the right to judge tonight
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
