you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i came on her dog
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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