my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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