You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
