and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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