Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize