weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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