If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
