I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Vodka?
Forever.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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