I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
She's JV to your varsity
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
