I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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