With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
