; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
