Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
