He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
