Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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