This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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