AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
