I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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