So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
