She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
