she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
