I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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