Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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