the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
