I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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