If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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