When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
