Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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