so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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