Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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