Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
