ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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