We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
