I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize