my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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