There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
