did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
