That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
