Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
