where does the pee come out of this thing
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just invented taco cereal.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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