this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
