If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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