HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
