You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
