We won't sleep together?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
