Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize