i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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