I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I came so hard my ears popped.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
