I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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