Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
