the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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