she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
