I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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